A Vegas Girl in Zion's Court

Last week in my American Literature class we finished reading Mark Twain's
"A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court", and we were asked to rate ourselves regarding where we stand in the gammet of cynism to realism to romanticism. First, I had to decide how I define each of these, then where Heavenly Father would like me stand, and finally conclude where it is I find myself today. This was pretty difficult!


Cynic(Webster's definition)- a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.
Cynic (Lyndee's definition)- a bitter person; one without hope. A cynic likes to use phrases such as, "Yeah- right!" and "Keep dreaming!"

Realist (Webster's definition)- a person who tends to view or represent things as they really are.
Realist (Lyndee's definition)- a person who BELIEVES he things as they really are. A realist likes to use phrases like, "Oh yeah?" and "It is what it is".

Romantic (Webster's definition)- fanciful; impractical; unrealistic.
Romantic (Lyndee's definition)- fanciful; hopeful; a bit unrealistic.
Romantics use phrases like, "We're going to get married, and live happily ever after!" and "I will have the PERFECT life!" (and she means PERFECT- without trials or adversity). Romantics generally speak in a futuristic style, or they speak of things without immediate connection to themselves.

I decided that for me Heavenly Father wants me to be a realist with the hope of a romantic eternity.

This is what I decided for myself:

I wish I could be a bit more romantic, and maybe tomorrow I will be. Who knows? So is the life of one with bi-polar disorder. I do think I lean more to the cynical side of life. However, I used to be such a romantic! Life changes a person. And, I'm only 37! I've seen things, probably no worse than the things every person in this class sees throughout their individual lives, but I believe I allow my experiences to dent my soul more than I should. I shouldn't be such a cynic. I know that everyday I wake up, and I earnestly pray that I will see the Lord's hand in my life, and I do.
I pray that I will lean on my faith and hope in my Savior, Jesus Christ. But, then reality steps in to my life, and it all goes asunder! I have difficulty believing I will find happiness in this earthly life. In 2 Nephi 2:25 we read, "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
Everytime I read this I feel so bleak. I "might" have joy. "Might". That doesn't mean now, or for sure. It's a matter of enduring, obeying, serving, loving, etc. Arrrggghhhh! I have moments- few and far between- that offer glimpses of joy and peace, but I honestly see this mortal portion of my eternal life as pretty Hellacious. I just want it over and done with. I want out. I want the next phase of eternity to start NOW!
I want to be at my Savior's feet, learning, feeling His love, being accepted for who I am - for the first time ever. But, that's not enduring to the end. So, I stick with this life, for the time being, and pray that I can see bits of eternity here and now- just enough to get me through one more day. I've decided to look to the example of Esther.
What an amazing woman of faith. I want to become more like her. Then I won't have to worry whether I'm a cynic, a realist, or a romantic. I can answer, "I'm Lyndee. I'm a Christian. I am a Woman of Virtue."