A Day in the Life

Have you ever hoped for a day free from answering questions? Well, there, I just ruined today for you. While Redge was working in New Orleans, post Hurricane Katrina, I learned a lot about choices and decisions. The things I learned came down to two lessons:

1~ not only is choice a right by God, but also by our founding fathers. 2~ it is not meet that man (or woman) should choose alone.

I was raised on choices. My first year at Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho) was life changing for me! I know, most people say that about their freshman years in college, but I was really blessed. I was invited by my extremely generous Aunt Norma and Uncle Karl (yes, Karl with a "K" because you can't spell Keith with a "C") to live in their home. At any rate... while living with Uncle Karl and Aunt Norma I noticed how similarly these wise parents raised their children in comparison to the choices my parents made regarding my siblings and me. It was if they used the same outline.

One day I sat with my Aunt and asked, "How? Why? Grandma Edwards has 24 grandkids, and we're all good people." Aunt Norma showed me then the outline used by all four of my Grandma's sons and daughters-in-law. Choice and Accountability. Aunt Norma showed me example after example of how we, the grandkids of Elbert and Mary Edwards, were given opportunities from birth to make our own choices, and then abide by the consequences. For instance: "Jeana Lee, would you like to wear the blue dress or the red dress?" "Melinda, would you like honey or jelly on your sandwich?" Then as we get older the choices become a bit more difficult. "Lyndee, would you like to sit quietly in Sacrament Meeting with your brothers and sisters, or would you like to sit on my lap in the foyer?" "Lyndee, would you like to be home before curfew, or stay home for the next two weekends?"

I've heard people say that my choice of religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, uses force and brainwashing to bind people to our teachings. I know and understand it quite differently. My parents never forced me to go to church. I don't remember any of us stating we would not attend church, and therefore there was never an issue of force. Redge and I have yet to meet opposition in regards to our children not wanting to attend our church. If we do, we have a plan. Our plan with church is the same plan we have for any other rule set in our home. If you don't like our rules, fine. You don't have to stay in our home. It's that easy.

This is the same plan Heavenly Father uses. If you don't like my rules, fine, you don't have to keep my commandments, and you don't have to live in my home (the Celestial Kingdom.) Our country is founded on the exact same principle. This past Summer Redge and I were studying the Declaration of Independence. As we studied we looked for definitions and synonyms for the word "Liberty." What we found is very interesting. We found, self-governed, self-directed, self-reliant, independent." This is so amazing to me, that it is so similar to the teachings of the gospel, but so far from what Redge and I have seen as a growing epidemic in some parts of the world, our country, and even in our own neighborhoods. I'm grateful for latter-day prophets who continue to teach self-reliance! Despite some trends sweeping in the opposite direction, I'm grateful for the map so wisely and divinely written so long ago by a group of men with the most noble of intentions.

As I watch and grieve over the downward spiral regarding the morals and ethics of our society I see it almost always comes to the breakdown of family, and I think I know why. While Redge was in New Orleans I had to choose and hold fast to every family decision made in our home. I had to do this all by myself!!! When Redge was preparing to leave, and while he was gone my friends and family would ask, "Is there anything we can do?" Or, they would kindly and sincerely offer, "If there's anything you need, please let us know." Well, I did need something, but it wasn't anything with which anyone other than Redge could help. I need help making decisions! I needed help in following through with consequences. I needed help with consistency! It is so hard to decide everything! What do we have for dinner? Well,Taite doesn't like that. Do I make it, and make her eat it, or do I make it, and make her something else? Should I fight bathing all the kids tonight? What do I have going on tomorrow? Will I have more time in the morning to bathe one of them, and bathe two of them tomorrow night? Should I allow Reece to play with Chase even though he has a book report due in two days? After all... it isn't his fault his dad lives in New Orleans, he's having such a hard time, should I give in here? If the kids cry at night should I let them just sleep in my bed? Should I still have them do chores, or should I let them have a break? It is so hard and tiresome to make all the decisions! Then, we add our guilt for placing our kids in these predicaments, so we allow them more leniency than we should, and thus begins the downward spiral. Heavenly Father never intended for us to make and follow through with all these decisions on our own. It isn't meet that we be alone. I'm so grateful for a husband who is my partner, who by helping me make decisions makes my life so much easier.