My Brother and the Puppy

My Uncle Keith has another article in a church magazine this month. This time it's in the Friend, and he wrote it about my dad. I just cry whenever I read it. It is so sweet, and so true of my dad. My dad has a real love for animals, but as he said in a recent letter to his seven kids, "Yes, I love my dog and love my trumpet, but I love my kids and grandkids even more than the dogs and trumpet. However, more important to me than all those things is my wife, and I love her the very most."

I just really love my dad. I've always wanted more people to see my dad the way I do. He is so quiet and shy, and people rarely get the opportunity to really know him. I'm so grateful beyond words to my uncle who took the time to let the whole world see just a little bit of who my dad really is. He's a kind, loving, intelligent, honest man. I remember in college when living with my Uncle Karl, Keith's identical twin, Uncle Karl said to me, "I remember when your parents were engaged. Grandma said to your mom, "You'll have to be the disciplinarian in the house. It's just not in Arthur to scold or punish anyone or anything." It's so true. I've never heard my dad yell or curse in my whole life. For those of you who know my dad, the yelling includes the years before my dad's one vocal chord was paralized and he could yell if he really tried. My dad never spanked me.

President Benson said, "The words and the way they are used in the Book of Mormon by the Lord should become our source of understanding and should be used by us in teaching gospel principles. Are we using the messages and the method of teaching found in the Book of Mormon and other scriptures of the Restoration to teach this great plan of the Eternal God?" (Ensign, May 1987, "The Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants".) This is how my dad taught me. I can especially relate to Alma the younger's sons as Alma counseled them in chapters 36-42 of Alma. Alma sat with his boys individually, he didn't speak to them as group. He probably did speak to them collectively several times, but I find it significant that he spoke to each of them one on one on this occassion. I think he did this for several reasons. 1) I know how much my kids love having one on one time with Redge and me. It shows them that we love them individually, and that each of them matter to us. Perhaps Alma wanted some one on one time with his sons. 2) I have learned that I cannot speak the same way to all my kids. I can be very blunt with Taite. For instance, one day Taite asked why Reece gets to go out for night games, but the other three do not. Keep in mind that Arthur is 6, Taite is 8, Seth is 9, and Reece is 13. I answered Taite with, "Because I like Reece better than I like you." She immediately turned around, scowled at me, and rather loudly stated, "Nuh-uh, you love us all the same!!!" Of course I went on to explain my reasoning, but my point is that if I had said the same thing to Seth it would have broken his little heart right in half! As we can plainly read in these chapters, Alma does not use the same manner of speech to speak with all of his boys. 3) Remember what Elder Holland said in General Conference address, "The Tongue of Angels," May 2007? "And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it. You may say most positively that 'Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright,' but all Susan will remember is that she isn’t bright and Sandra that she isn’t pretty. Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture’s obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are 'enough.'" Alma had different things to discuss with each of his boys, and he was probably trying to protect each of them from feeling jealous or insecure. At any rate, my dad did this. When I had done something wrong, didn't do something I needed to do, or needed counsel of any kind my dad came into my room with me, and behind closed doors he counseled me in the ways I should go. He counseled in ways similar to Alma's methods. He told me things I shouldn't do; similar to the way Alma spoke to Corianton. My dad also gave me specific things I needed to do; just as Alma told Helaman he needed to keep a record of their people. I also discussed with my dad about things I could improve in my life; in the same ways Alma suggested to Shiblon to bridle his passions, and to Helaman to counsel with the Lord in all his doings. Without fail, just as Alma did, my dad also included his testimony of Jesus Christ, doing just as we read in 2 Nephi 25:26, "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins." If there was any reproving involved my dad was sure to obey the counsel found in Doctrine and Covenants 121:43, "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy." Taking the time to remind me of all my good qualities, and how very much he and my Savior love me. Kind of like the promise Isaiah often repeats, "For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still."

My dad is a fabulous example of love and charity. Again, I am so grateful to Uncle Keith for seeing this, and sharing it with everyone. What a great compliment to his older brother.