We've Only Just Begun

Redge and I have been married 14 years. Man, I made a very good choice! At any rate, before we got married my sisters held a bridal shower for me at Naomi's home. During the shower the women in attendance helped tie a quilt for us. We loved that quilt! Reece eventually took it over because he also loved it. Melinda chose a really thick, fluffly bat. The top and bottom were flannel. It was the best quilt ever. Last week I washed it. It no longer exists. It was on its last leg, and was in pieces when I pulled it from the dryer.

At first I just stood there stunned. Completely distraught. It kind of felt like an icky omen. Then I started thinking of my friends and family ~ especially my mom and sisters who had put time into making this quilt. I felt so guilty. I began thinking things like, "I should not have ever used this quilt," "I should only have dry cleaned it," and "What was I thinking letting Reece use this?"

Then, I began to think other things. I thought about why I made the choices I did with the quilt. First, Grandma Bird always made us quilts. She loved making quilts for her grandkids as they married. However, as she aged, and her tiny arthritic hands no longer worked the way she wanted, she began buying down comforters for the grandkids as wedding gifts. I received a down comforter. I still have it. Well, I mean its still in my house. It's now on Reece's bed. At any rate... We used the down comforter on our bed. Our wedding quilt was on the daybed that we used for a long time as our couch. I remember loving the way my cute daybed looked, and the quilt was perfect. Any company we had was privileged with using the quilt.

Originally I didn't want to tell my family that the quilt had, as the old adage states, "Not died, just gone to pieces." But, as you can plainly read, I'm no longer afraid of telling them because I've discovered the great truth of the quilt. The truth and blessing of the quilt is that Redge and I have stayed together long enough to wear it out! What a great thing! In a time when divorce rate is higher than ever before, and continues climbing, my husband and I have made it last long enough to wear out 1 couch, 2 cars, many clothes, 3 phones, 2 computers, 2 cameras, and 1 quilt!

This brings to mind the talk given by M. Russell Ballard during General Conference of October, 2005, entitled, "What Matters Most is What Lasts the Longest."

Below are 3 points Elder Ballard counseled us to consider.

1. Be consistent in holding daily family prayer and weekly family home evenings. Both of these invite the Lord’s Spirit, which provides the help and power we need as parents and family leaders. The Church curriculum and magazines have many good ideas for family home evening. Also consider holding a family testimony meeting where parents and children can express their beliefs and feelings to each other in a private and personal setting.

2. Teach the gospel and basic values in your home. Establish a love for reading the scriptures together. Too many of our parents are abdicating this responsibility to the Church. While seminary, auxiliaries, and priesthood quorums are important as a supplement to parental gospel instruction, the main responsibility rests in the home. You might want to choose one gospel subject or a family value and then watch for opportunities to teach it. Be wise and do not involve children or yourselves in so many activities out of the home that you are so busy that the Spirit of the Lord cannot be recognized or felt in giving you the promised guidance for yourself and your family.

3. Create meaningful family bonds that give your children an identity stronger than what they can find with their peer group or at school or anyplace else. This can be done through family traditions for birthdays, for holidays, for dinnertime, and for Sundays. It can also be done through family policies and rules with natural and well-understood consequences. Have a simple family economy where children have specific chores or household duties and receive praise or other rewards commensurate to how well they do. Teach them the importance of avoiding debt and of earning, saving, and wisely spending money. Help them learn responsibility for their own temporal and spiritual self-reliance.

I didn't see anywhere that he said, "Do not wear things out. Continue gathering earthly things, and have their maintenance be your top priority." I realized that the quilt is just the symbol of tradition. I received the quilt as a gift to exemplify the traditions of our family which include: sacrifice, temple marriage, eternal families, self-reliance, sisterhood, and charity. Now, with the quilt gone, I have the opportunity to create a new quilt, and more importantly, inviting my own little girl to carry forward our family traditions.